Sunday, August 29, 2010

Interpersonal Conflict

More often than not, conflicts arise because of a clash of interest, actions or even due to a lack of effective communication.

I have an example which actually involves two of my good friends within my clique which I normally hang out with during my time as a student in NUS.

I shall address the parties involved as Jack and Jill. Jack was a fellow bandsman with the army band during my years in National Service. Jill apparently was a friend of Jessica who was her schoolmate in Junior College. My opinion on Jack was that he was an intelligent and amusing person who never fails to come up with a good joke. Jill, on the other hand was a bubbly person.

As a result, my group of friends from my course of study grew with the addition of the two of them.  There were joy and laughter seen once the two were added to the clique. We studied and played together. Things were looking on the bright side until one fine day when things started to get ugly.

We were having lunch at that point of time and as usual, I was having bananas after my meal. Out of nowhere, Leonard made a joke out of the fruit. The males in our group being their usual self started to relate the bananas as a sensitive organ in the context of the male human reproductive health. The girls felt awkward upon listening to dirty jokes like this and soon started to avoid participating in the senseless conversation. Some of us stopped harping on the topic as we could sense the uneasiness from some of the girls. However, Jack with his playful nature, did not sense the state of the situation at which it has evolved to and continued playing around with the joke. After which, he shifted the focus on Jill and repeatedly mentioned in a joking fashion that Jill liked bananas. Oblivious to the fact that Jill was not open to such sensitive joke, Jill soon felt angry and started to ignore Jack from that day onwards.

Jack felt apologetic and made several attempts to seek for forgiveness but he was shunned by her each time they saw each other in school. The others tried to intervene and mediate talks between the two but nothing seemed to work out. For an entire semester, they did not utter a single word to one another. The problem was still left unsolved.. 

So dear readers, what do you think should be the best course of action taken to approach the issue? :p

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Why are Effective Communication Skills important to me?

To a practical and realistic person like me, I tend to conform to social norms and I feel that one of the most important things that one has to be equipped with and to move on in life is to have effective communication skills. To some, they may feel that good communication skills merely mean conveying the message across to the other person successfully and that spells the end of the story. Somewhat like the telegraphic model of communication where there is basically just a sender and a receiver. However, there is still some form of an invisible barrier in between and there would be some kind of cold and hard feelings involved. Personally, I feel that the idea of having effective or good communication skills extend beyond just a mere sender/receiver relationship and even with the modified idea of a role reversal between the two. I believe that qualities like self development, interpersonal skills, mutual understanding, mutual cooperation and trust should be tied in with good speaking skills to complete the idea of having good communication skills. 

Good communication skills plays an important role in various issues in life such as employment, relationships and even right down to simple matters like ordering a meal. Clear instructions have to be passed down to get the right order registered. Furthermore, effective communication skills are there for a reason- to assume the role of ‘police officers’ in maintaining law and order. Imagine a world without the use of effective communication, confusions and misunderstandings are bound to arise, which may lead to conflicts or even public disorder. Everything will be in a total mess! Hence, we can see the importance of having effective communication skills in life.

Firstly, the importance of good communication skills cannot be ignored in the context of working. These are the keys to executing excellent management skills and also adopting better presentation skills at work. With good management skills, there will be a team of members who can create an environment where there is open communication; instructions could be passed down effectively and most importantly, the idea of welfare like basically understanding the needs of the workers. Ultimately if you think for a second, having good communication between employers and employee is actually a win-win situation, work is done and the workers’ welfare is being taken care of. In my opinion, this will result in members working efficiently under immediate orders from the superior. No one would want to work under an employer who is not able to communicate with his subordinates properly and but just aim to achieve the targeted results at the end of the day. Trust me, it will be a mundane working experience!

Individually, as a working professional, with effective communication skills, one would be able to deliver his presentation in the best possible manner and thus would leave a good impression to the client. A well planned proposal is nothing without a good oral delivery to introduce the proposal. I am sure no one will want to leave a bad impression in front of his colleagues or boss for that matter. 

Secondly, having good communication is definitely vital in relationships between couples and also between families. I personally have never been in a relationship but I have learnt one important fact that keeps relationships alive and that is having adequate and good communication among couples. One will agree that having effective communication skills will lead to a blissful love life between couples and strengthen familial ties between members of the family as there is mutual understanding amongst each other.  Poor or strained relationships are often victims of breakdown of communication between couples and also between families though there are factors to look upon which I am not going to cover here in my post. 

On my part, I have been keeping up with having good communication skills. I begin to speak more confidently in front of people. This includes clear articulation, varied tone and also maintaining frequent eye contacts with others which I hardly did in the past. Despite the limitations of my vocabulary, I constantly seek for new avenues to upgrade myself. For that matter I have also started reading articles in order to brush up on the command of the language. I also started to keep a lookout on things happening around me like reading deeply into people’s thoughts.

All in all, effective communication skills do help improve prospects and ties for that matter and what it actually does is to break down barriers! Knowing what good promises good communication skills will offer me in future for my career and also my personal life, I will definitely hone my communication skills by speaking more confidently, learn to look from various points of view and be a better communicator in life! I believe that ES2007S will provide me with ample opportunities to develop my skills in this area and I am looking forward to what it has to offer me.. :D